The University of California has uncovered that couples struggling with alcohol or drug abuse are more likely to divorce than other couples. This should come as no surprise since drug addicts are hardly efficient workers, doting fathers or loving husbands. In fact, their lack of coordination, mood swings and excessive anger bursts make them too difficult to handle and capable of bringing the family down with them.
If you have been considering divorcing your drug addicted husband, the following lines are for you.
“Should I Really Take Such a Big Step?”
Most women stay in their marriages because they believe that they can fix their addicted husbands. However, you need to understand that this is one task you can’t handle. The addict will only change when they want to and not because they noticed that their spouse or children are suffering. In fact, it will be hard for him to see your pain since his mind is foggy due to drugs. That aside, your addicted husband will change when he reaches rock bottom, a limit only he knows.
Now your husband may consider you asking for divorce as a sign of reaching rock bottom. Therefore, he may change his ways and successfully complete a drug rehab program. However, if he doesn’t take action, you’ll be doing yourself and your children wrong.
To help you decide if you’re ready to take this step, ask yourself the following questions and answer them truthfully.
- Have you come to terms with your husband’s addiction?
- Did you confront your husband about his problem?
- Do you feel that your life has turned chaotic since your husband’s addiction started?
- Have you tried helping your husband fight his addiction?
- Did you attend counseling together to break his habit?
- Have you faced serious negative consequences due to your husband’s addiction?
- Have you arranged for an intervention?
- Are you willing to leave?
With the answers of these questions, you should determine whether or not you should file for divorce. However, if you still have faith in your husband, you can separate for some time and force him to undergo a rehab program before you come back.
Steps for Divorcing Your Addicted Husband
Sadly, not all ultimatums work out, which is why you may end up getting a divorce after all. If you’re forced to take this measure, here are the steps to handle this civilly and without affecting yourself or your children.
Step 1 Get Legal Advice
Your husband has chosen to cheat on you with drugs, so there is nothing he can do to regain your trust. He may try to coax you into staying and promise to stop. However, if they have tried undergoing rehab before and didn’t pull through, you have no reason to trust them. Therefore, hire a lawyer and have them deal with your husband instead.
Step 2 Get and Be Prepared to Give Support
Divorces are emotionally draining and the fact that you’re dealing with an addict makes it even harder. So, get the support of your friends and family. If you decide to go without, you won’t be able to provide your children with the strength they need to overcome this ordeal. However, in case your friends and family decide to shun you, you can go for therapy or start anonymously blogging to vent out pent up feelings.
Step 3 Protect Your Money
If your husband has been leaching off your bank account to fund his addiction, you need to start separating your accounts and protecting your money. Those funds will help you and your children until you get back on your feet. Also, protect your credit score since your husband may try to steal your identity and cause you harm.
Step 4 Look After Yourself and Your Loved Ones
Divorce is a difficult time and people tend to delve into depression and embrace addictive habits of their own. So, grow strong and ensure that you and your children don’t end up following your husband’s footsteps due to your misery.
The Bottom Line
Deciding to divorce your drug addicted husband should be your last resort after you’re done trying to help him get better. However, don’t delay this for long or else you and those you love will suffer worse consequences than ending a marriage.
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